WWE Fastlane 2019 Review

The final PPV before Wrestlemania, WWE Fastlane, took place on Sunday 10th March at the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, Ohio.

The match on the Kick Off Show is Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev taking on Big E and Xavier Woods from The New Day. Rusev distracts Woods, giving Nakamura a chance to kick him in the head and get the advantage. After a few minutes, Woods hits a missile dropkick to Rusev and he is able to tag in Big E. Despite some interference from Lana, The New Day get the win after hitting Up Up Down Down on Rusev. I thought this was a pretty fun match.
Winners: The New Day (1 for 1)

Fastlane starts with Hollywood Miz and Shane McMahon challenging The Usos for the Smackdown Tag Team Championships. Miz and Shane get the upper hand in the early going before The Usos hit Shane with a brutal clothesline. Shane manages to hit a DDT, giving him the chance to tag in Miz. Miz eventually manages to hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Jimmy Uso but it only gets 2. In the end, Miz attempts a frog splash but Jey puts his knees up and pins Miz to get the win. Afterwards, The Miz beats the fuck out of...wait, no. Shane beats the fuck out of The Miz. Sorry, I was so expecting Miz to betray Shane, it threw me off that it was the other way round. This was quite a good match. I'm quite surprised that Shane turned heel, especially as The Miz has rarely been a babyface. Even though I'm not a big fan of Shane, I'm looking forward to their match at Wrestlemania.
Winners: The Usos (2 for 2)

The next match is Mandy Rose challenging Asuka for the Smackdown Women's Championship. Sonya Deville distracts Asuka long enough for Mandy to hit a knee to the head and get the advantage. Mandy goes for a lifting butterfly facebuster but Asuka gets out of it and hits a knee. Asuka reverses an Irish whip and Mandy stumbles on the ring apron that Sonya had moved onto the ring. Asuka then hits a kick to the head to get the win. The ending seemed to come out of nowhere but it was a generally decent match.
Winner: Asuka (3 for 3)

Next is Kofi Kingston and Kevin Owens challenging "The New" Daniel Bryan for the...wait, sorry. It turns out that Vince McMahon is fucking with Kofi and it's actually a handicap match with Kofi taking on The Bar with Xavier Woods and Big E barred from ringside. Understandably, Cesaro and Sheamus beat the absolute fuck out of Kofi. Big E and Xavier do try to help but they're stopped by Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev. In the end, The Bar hit the Double White Noise to get the win.

I seriously don't get the point of this match. The motivations for Vince doing this to Kofi has not been explained. I know he was doing the same in the unnecessarily convoluted storyline with Becky Lynch. However, he was at least justified in that because she attacked Triple H and Stephanie McMahon. With Kofi, Vince seems to be the biggest dick on the planet to him and it doesn't make any sense to me.
Winners: The Bar (N/A)

We now get our first RAW match of the evening as the teams of Ricochet and Aleister Black and Bobby Roode and Chad Gable challenge The Revival in a triple threat match for the RAW Tag Team Championships. The Revival early on to manage to isolate Ricochet and keep me down with the help of Roode and Gable. Eventually, Black is tagged in and he goes for the Black Mask on Roode but Scott Dawson stops it. In the end, The Revival hit Gable with a Shatter Machine to get the win. Afterwards, we get a brief brawl ending with Ricochet hitting a 630 Splash on Dash Wilder. This was a pretty good match.
Winners: The Revival (N/A)

We now get a Fatal 4-Way Match for the United States Championship as Samoa Joe deals with the challenges of Andrade, Rey Mysterio and R-Truth. Highlights of the match include: Mysterio hitting R-Truth and Andrade with a double hurracarrana; Mysterio reversing a powerslam into a DDT; Zelina Vega hitting a super kick on R-Truth prompting Carmella to get involved; and R-Truth doing John Cena's moves. In the end, Mysterio tries to hit Drop the Dime on Joe. However, Joe avoids it and makes Mysterio pass out to the Coquina Clutch to get the wun. This was a good, fun match to watch.
Winner: Samoa Joe (N/A)

It's time for Sasha Banks and Bayley's first defence as Women's Tag Team Champions as they face the challenge of Nia Jax and Tamina. Nia throws Sasha into Bayley to get the advantage. After a few minutes, Sasha gets tagged in. In the end, Bayley manages to roll up Nia to get the win. Nia and Tamina don't take the loss well and beat the fuck out of Sasha and Bayley. Tamina, for some reason, decides to take on Beth Phoenix, who was on guest commentary. Even though Natalya comes out to help, Nia and Tamina beat the fuck out of them before they're stopped by the referees. Except for a really obvious botch, I enjoyed the match. However, this is the third match on the show that's had a post match brawl. I don't think that's really necessary.
Winners: Sasha Banks and Bayley (4 for 4)

Next is Kevin Owens challenging "The New" Daniel Bryan for the...wait, hang on. Mustafa Ali has been added to the match, making it a triple threat match for the WWE Championship. Highlights of the match include: Owens hitting cannonballs to Ali and Bryan; Bryan hitting Ali with a running dropkick, sending him to the outside; Ali hitting Bryan with a X-Factor; Owens hitting a Stunner on Ali; and Owens and Ali teaming up to take out Rowan when he interferes. Ali tries a springboard crossbody.  However, Bryan hits him midair with a running knee to get the win. Afterwards, we had more post match shenanigans with Rowan hitting Ali with a choke slam. This was a really good match and a joy to watch.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (5 for 5)

The penultimate match is between Charlotte Flair and "The Man" Becky Lynch. Charlotte mocks Becky while attacking Becky's injured knee. Becky sends Charlotte flying from the top turnbuckle to the floor then puts her in the Dis Arm Her. Charlotte gets out of it and puts Becky in the Figure 8. However, Ronda Rousey runs in and attacks Becky...? Wait, what? This means that Becky is facing Ronda and Charlotte for the RAW Women's Championship at Wrestlemania. The match was ok but the ending was bizarre to me. I get that Ronda has always wanted to face Becky but by her actions, she made things harder for herself at Wrestlemania, It's not a normal thing for a heel to do.
Winner: Becky Lynch (6 for 6)

After a segment involving Elias, Lacey Evans, Randy Orton and AJ Styles; we get our main event. The Shield teaming up for the final time to take on Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley. After a few minutes, McIntyre kicks Seth Rollins in the ribs to give his team the advantage. Later on, they wear down Dean Ambrose. Ambrose hits a springboard clothesline on McIntyre and he gets to tag in Roman Reigns. When Rollins, Ambrose, McIntyre and Lashley start fighting amongst the crowd, Corbin and Reigns continue the match in the ring. Corbin hits End of Days on Reigns but the Shield manage to break up the pin. The match goes to the outside and The Shield triple power bomb McIntyre through the Spanish announce table. They then beat the fuck out of Corbin and hit a triple powerbomb on him to get the win. This was a really good match and I'm saddened that this will be the last time they will wrestle again. They have collectively done so much with them all becoming WWE Champion at one point. Hopefully, Dean Ambrose will come back in the near future and we will see The Shield wrestle again.
Winners: The Shield (7 for 7)

I thought that Fastlane was a mixed bag. Most of the wrestling was good but the event was far too long. Along with the matches, four of them had post match beatings; we had 3 musical segments with Elias and the usual catwalk bullshit with Lacey Evans (fucking wrestle already!!) I worry about Wrestlemania this year. With the pre-show, it was 7 hours last year. Along with the Takeover the night before, that comes to ten fucking hours! I like wrestling but the main reason for me not publishing my reviews weeks after the events is that it feels like such an effort. I'm quite looking forward to watching it, I'm just not looking forward to reviewing it. Hopefully, WWE will start to reduce the running times of their shows in the near future.